July 25, 2011

Things I think are bogus part 3

So "back in the day" (2007) when I had a myspace I had made 2 posts about Things I think are bogus. I recently came upon those lists again and wanted to share them and update them to how I feel currently :)
Here we go!

1. When people don't call you back when they say they are going to.
2. When people don't call or text you back at all.
3. The fact that a chunk of my finger is hanging off and hurts really bad.
4. That when I try to make my hair look good it looks horrible and when I don't try it looks great.
5. That my month of tanning ran out today.
6. When people make up lame excuses for not being able to hang out.
7. Having to work with people who are lazy and suck.
8. Homework.
9. Boys.
10. Life.

1. That my month of tanning ran out like a week ago.
2. That I have been looking for a new job for 5 months and have had no luck (hopefully saturday I will be able to cross this off the list)
3. Having to work with people who are dumb, lazy, and like to make up rumors about me.
4. Never having enough time to do anything when my friends want to do something.
5. Having free time when none of my friends are available.
6. My back hurting every fucking damn day of my life.
7. When my boss is a bimbo for unecessary reasons.
8. My mom's boyfriend and his son being around ALL THE FREAKING TIME when I just need a moment to myself.
9. Not having enough money to move out on my own.
10.  Not doing enough fun stuff anymore.

LIST 3-2011:
1. Being broken. (IBS, Endometriosis, Vitiligo, Anxiety, Depression, etc.)
2. Bills
3. Having to be nice to people when I dont want to
4. Pretending like I care
5. Caring too much
6. The Male Species
7. Exercise. I hate it LOL
8. Summer TV Hiatus' - I am having withdrawals for Vampire Diaries and Supernatural!
9. Double Standards
10. Being questioned

July 24, 2011

Endo Sisters Unite

If you have Endometriosis then you know what it feels like to feel scared, upset, stressed, and alone. I know I did, until I started making connections online with other women with Endo. It has really helped me cope and to hear that people are feeling the same way and have had the same experiences makes me feel like less of a freak. To encourage more Endometriosis Awareness and Support I have created a facebook page called Endo Sisters Unite.  Please check it out, Im hoping to reach many of other Endo sufferers to share stories and support.
You dont have to feel alone!


Let's get Serious, lets talk about TSS.

A lot of my posts are about my TV obsessions, my crazy family, or my battle with Endometriosis but today I want to talk about another serious condition that many women over look. TSS= Toxic Shock Syndrome. 
I know a lot of us have heard of TSS, but do you really know what it is? 

Wikipedia defines Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) as a potentially fatal illness caused by a bacterial toxin. Different bacterial toxins may cause toxic shock syndrome, depending on the situation. The causative bacteria include Staphylococcus aureus and Streptococcus pyogenes. Streptococcal TSS is sometimes referred to as toxic shock-like syndrome (TSLS) or streptococcal toxic shock syndrome (STSS).

Yeah, that's a mouthful. So let me give you some facts about TSS:

*1 in 700 women will get tampon related TSS in their lifetime
*Half of all known cases of Toxic Shock are women using TAMPONS.
*There is risk of TSS to all women using tampons during their menstrual period. TSS is a rare but serious disease that may cause death.
*The reported risks are higher to women under 30 years of age and teenage girls. 
*The incidence of TSS is estimated to be between 1 and 17 cases of TSS per 100,000 menstruating women and girls per year.
*It's estimated that nationwide 5,000 to 10,000 cases of Tampon related TSS  now occur each year, making it as common as Lyme disease.

Symptoms of TSS:

*Sudden fever over 102°F (38.9°C).
*A rash that looks like a sunburn.
*Signs of shock, including low blood pressure and rapid heartbeat, often with lightheadedness, faintingnausea, vomiting, or restlessness and confusion.
*Severe pain in an infected wound or injury.
*Muscle aches and pains, stomach cramps,headache, or sore throat.
*Skin tissue death (necrosis), which occurs early in the syndrome.
*Skin tissue shedding, which occurs during recovery.
*Pinkeye (conjunctivitis).

How to help reduce your risk of TSS:

*Only use tampons made of organic cotton.
 *Use the lowest absorbency needed at each stage of your period.
*Avoid using tampons continuously during a period. Alternate with sanitary pads at night so the toxins have had time to dissipate. 
*Use a pad at the end of your period. 
* Change tampons every 4 to 6 hours. 
*Don't use tampons if you've had any unusual discharge. 
*Wash your hands before and after use and handle the tampon as little as possible. 
 *Alert your family and friends to the symptoms and emergency action required. 

Survivors of Toxic Shock Syndrome may have been hospitalized for weeks and there is usually a long recovery period. 

They may have suffered:
Loss of fingers and toes due to gangrene.  Permanent kidney and liver damage.  Deafness and blindness.  Peeling skin, and loss of nails and hair.  Continual infections  Short term memory loss.  No energy for months or even years. Psychological and emotional distress

Toxic Shock Syndrome is serious. Do your part to keep yourself safe. For more great info visit You-are-loved.org or talk to your doctor.

Until next time,

My day out with Rhyann

My best friend, Shayna, has the most beautiful 2 year old daughter in the whole world who I love to pieces. When Shayna needed a babysitter for Saturday of course I said yes!
We started the day off at my work (the credit union) to get some cash then we went to Panera Bread because when asked what she wanted for breakfast Rhyann resonded with "A bagel!". I wish I could have gotten a picture of her walking in, she was wearing her pink sunglasses with her purse and her pig tails and outfit I bought her. SO ADORABLE. After Panera we did some shopping then went to get my hair cut (which BTW she was such a good girl during the appointment, she just sat and waited!). After my hair appointment we headed to Cain's so Rhyann could see the dog, Tasha. Once we got there Rhyann saw the pool and decided she wanted to go swimming. Luckily Cain's mother gave me a bathing suit to borrow so I could go in with Rhy, I wasnt expecting her to want to go swimming! After that we got ice cream and headed back to my house. I don't have pictures of EVERYTHING but here is what I do have :)
Video's to come later!

July 20, 2011

My latest Obsession(s)

I am currently obsessed with MTV's new show, Teen Wolf.  I know all of the guys on there are like 5 years younger than me but I still think they are super cute, I'm a cougar at heart ;)

First picture is of Tyler Posey who is the lead, he plays Scott. So cute, love his hair.

Next, I loooooove Stiles! He's hilarious on the show, he's the best BFF, and being cute doesn't hurt. 

I started off hating Jackson but as time goes on and the more I see him..oh my

Next on my list... one big bad smokin' hot wolf, Derek Hale. MMM MMM MMMMMM

Seriously, where do you find guys that look like that. It's just not fair or natural.  We need some better breeding over here in Maine!

Until next time,

July 15, 2011

I'm such a Teenybopper

Leo Dicaprio

I have been a boy crazy teenybopper for as long as I can remember. It started with JTT, then Leonardo Dicaprio, Zac Hanson, Justin Timberlake, I could go on for days. As many of you may know, my most recent 'obsessions' have been Ian Somerhalder and Alexander Skarsgaard.  I also love Matt Lanter and Jensen Ackles. I love everyone. I can't help it! I'm such a girl.  Anyway, to get to the point...though I am 25 I still get giddy about my fave celebs.  Recently while I was on Twitter I replied to one of Trevor Donovan's tweet. If you don't know Trevor, he is most recently known as 'Teddy' from 90210. 
Trevor Donovan
I never in a billion years thought he, or any other celebrity would ever respond to me but, HE DID. In fact..he  messaged me directly, not even a reply! I almost peed my pants. It was no biggie- we didn't do any 'serious' talking but still. The fact he took the time to message me was cool. 

Have you had any other celeb interaction over the web? How did you react?

Until next time,

July 13, 2011

Am I ever going to be normal again?

It has been about 13 weeks since I had my last ER visit. I thought I was doing good considering that from December to April I was visiting at least once a month. I really do think I have been improving with my Endometriosis and IBS, the medication I'm on seems to be helping and I haven't been having as many 'attacks'. The few problems I am  having regularly are extreme bloating and nausea  Well yesterday, I had one of my 'attacks'.  I was having the usual, stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, etc. I knew I wasn't feeling right because on Monday I started to feel very blah and called my doctor to make an appointment to discuss my diet and medications. They originally scheduled me for friday but when I got sick on Tuesday, I called them first. They couldn't fit me in  and told me because of my history and symptoms that I needed to go to the ER to have X-rays to make sure I didn't have severe blockage.  That stressed me out to the max because I had to leave work, which I hate. I feel so guilty and that my coworkers must hate working with me because I'm always sick and have to leave.   Luckily my boss is great and he told me to head to the ER.  I spent about 4.5 hours there and they did see I was pretty badly backed up but not to the point of severe blockage.  They gave me some stuff to try to help things get moving and also sent me home with medicine to take for a week straight.  I haven't seen results yet, minus less pain, but I hope it helps.  Friday when I go to the doctors I will  be requesting to have him help me with a diet plan or to see a nutritionist.  Obviously my body isn't liking the things going into it and something needs to change.
Speaking of which, I need to take my medicine and eat some veggies.  I'll keep you posted with what happens friday.

Until next time,

Vampire Craftin' rocks my world

Not to long ago I was visiting one of my favorite sites, Vampire Craftin' when I came across her "100th post Giveaway". How could I not enter?! This is the site where I got the idea for the Recycled Bookmarks, here are some examples of what I did: 

Anyway, her site is awesome! I ended up winning a surprise grab bag and received it in the mail today. I wish someone could have taken a picture of me at the moment I opened it because I almost died ! It had all my favorite things; Edward, Cheetah Print, the letter M. Here's a picture of it, my regular camera is broken at the moment so I had to use my cell :/

You guys need to check out Vampire Craftin' its AMAZING!

Until next time,

July 6, 2011

Endometriosis, Diet, and Depression

I've been doing a lot of researching online lately about Endometriosis, and Depression & Anxiety and how Diet plays a roll in both of them. I found some really interesting articles I wanted to share.

The Diet and Depression article on Yahoo caught my eye when I saw the heading
 "Carb Up – Calm Down" :] heres a quick exert: 

"If you're suffering from depression, the Atkins Diet may not be the right choice for you. That's because eating foods that are high in carbohydrates (such as pastas and breads) naturally raises the amount of serotonin in the brain."

I also looked into the Endometriosis Diet and I was surprised with how much they suggest you cut out of your diet. That might be hard for me.  Here's a little exert: 

      TO SUM UP
  • increase omega-3 fatty acids
  • avoid meat, dairy products, wheat and sugar
  • increase fiber
  • modulate estrogen
  • avoid caffeine and alcohol
  • avoid refined foods, e-numbers, additives
  • minimize or avoid soy products as they contain high levels of phytoestrogens, and soy contains a particular toxin which seems to be particularly detrimental for women with Endometriosis
  • peel fruit and vegetables to remove toxic chemicals
  • eat organic produce wherever possible
  • drink lots of filtered or mineral water

Then after I read about the Endometriosis diet I found a great article on one of my favorite sites.  It was titled "I feel terrible but I don't want to change anything". Sounds relevant for me, huh? Let me give you a sneak peek at that as well: 

"The saddest thing to me is how we view food and our lifestyle. I almost want to cry when I suggest to someone that they cut out sugar or dairy or wheat and they say: “That is too hard, I couldn’t possibly cut any of those out of my diet!”. What amazes me is that these girls are suffering, each and every day."-Cureendometriosis.com

All three of these articles have put some extra knowledge in my head and now I have a lot to think about.  Have you ever followed any of these diets or have a similar experience? Let me know!

Until next time,

Friends and Lovers

Yesterday was my first day back from work after my week vacation and some of the girls I work with asked me what I did on my time off so, I told them.  I told them how my ex, Cain, and I hung out a few times. We went hiking and then he brought the dog over my house to go swimming in the lake.  Cain and I have remained close since we broke up back in March, everyone knows that.  Not long ago he actually stopped by my work with a coffee for me.  Well, once I told the girls about hanging out with him they all started to give me crap about it.  "It's weird, you guys were together for 6 years you can't be just friends."; "Why break up and then hang out?". Basically they interrogated me; I had to literally sit there and defend myself while they said it was strange that I could still be friends and hang out with him.  Cain and I did not break up because we didn't love each other, we broke up because we wanted different lives. I wanted children, he didn't.  I didn't realize once you broke up with someone you had to become enemies.  I thought most people would be happy for me, being with someone for so long and then being able to still be friends. But nope, now they just made me super paranoid.  I know I shouldn't care what others think, and I don't really but it kind of makes me mad.  I didn't know acting civil and being an adult made me "strange".  Anyway, enough of my ranting! I wanted to get your thoughts on the subject; do you think couples who were in long term relationships can be friends after things end?  Don't get me wrong--I definitely think it's possible because I'm doing it right now but, I think things could be weird when we meet new people... for me at least! I'll want to beat the bitch up, jk! Sorta :)

Share your thoughts!


Life's Treasures

If you've been here before you know that I like to claim I am psychic because I am always right about stuff, well I still believe it! I checked my horoscope today and it was freaky. I have been thinking about friends and family today and whats important to me and my horoscope said to do just that.

Here's my horoscope for today:

What do you treasure most in your life? Take time to mentally form your personal top ten list -- and then do what you need to ensure everything on that list stays in your life. People may not realize how important they are to you, so it's up to you to make them understand. Follow whatever method fits you best, whether it's a mushy email, flowery greeting card or hearty pat on the back. Celebrate what you have in life -- and don't take anything for granted.

Of course after reading this it made me start thinking, what is most important to me? What do I treasure about my life? I'm only half done, here's what I've come up with so far:

  1. My family
  2. My Friends
  3. Freedom
  4. My job
  5. My health (Yes, odd one for me considering I've been battling tons of issues but it could always be so much worse. I have all my limbs, organs, and I'm not dying, not yet. I consider that good)

It's still a work in progress, I have so many things in mind I just need to prioritize :)
If you were to make a list of what you treasure most in life what would be on it?

Until next time,

July 5, 2011

Mystic Cafe Contest

So I found out recently that writer Rose Pressey is holding a contest and the winner will have a character in the next book named after them. How cool would that be!? I don't normally do contests because I tend to lose but this one was so intriguing I couldn't help myself!  If you want more info on the contest visit www.rosepressey.com
Wish me luck!


July 4, 2011

25 Random Things About Me

Remember when the "25 things about me" was popular on facebook? Well, I participated back in 2009 and going through my facebook just now I found it. I wanted to post it to show you who I was 2 years ago and to see how much I've either changed or stayed the same! Here it is!

1. I haven't spoken to my oldest brother Joe in 2 or 3 years. Im not even sure where he is. Still true, going on 5 years now.
2. My anxiety prohibits me from doing basic things by myself, such as going to the gym, or calling to make appointments, but I work with the public and I am okay doing so. Figure that one out lol I'm better but I still have my moments.
3. I'm really weird about eating meat. I usually only eat chicken. It usually has to be dry, if any meat has any texture of mushy-ness I will vomit. SO TRUE
4. I am obsessed with buying note books. I always want to by them even though I hardly use them.I should have said office supplies because I don't buy just note books...
5. I am obsessed with Rob Pattinson and Justin Timberlake. Still love them, now add Ian Somerhalder to the list.
6. I love my mother most in the world but for some reason I take out my frustration on her the most. And I feel horrible about it.I've gotten a lot better with this, I think. 
7. I am terrified of getting old and dying. If i think about it I have anxiety attacks. Yes, still very true.
8. I am a picky eater. I dont like most of my food touching. Especially if it has some sort of sauce, dressing, syrup, etc. T
9. I think people underestimate me. T
10. I can cry just about anytime. If I got paid to cry I'd be a billionaire.
11. Shayna is my best friend. We are so much alike intellectually and emotionally but our outer-personalities are very different. Shayna is my bff
12. I dream every night. And they are always very involved and strange. I don't remember all of my dreams, not as much as I used to. i think it's the new meds Im on :/
13. If I see a cat or dog on the side of the road that looks lost or in danger, I always want to save it. What can I say, I'm a softie :)
14. I dont think anyone really knows who I am on the inside. T
15. I love the twilight series, I could read the books over and over.T
16. My dad died in 2006 and my biggest regret is not having made enough time for him.T
17. My oldest nephew, Nathan, is 13 and it freaks me out. It grosses me out that he is getting facial hair and having THOSE thoughts. He was the first so I feel like I have a different bond with him. Ok this is still weird. Nathan will be 16 this summer and is a typical teenage boy so yes its icky. Im still having a hard time coping.
18. I have these weird thing about pinching cats noses.I cant help it!
19. I have serious trust issues. T
20. My weakness is ice cream. I could it eat all the time. T
21. Im not sure if I want children some day but if I do I would like to have a girl. I dont think I could relate well to a boy. One thing has changed, I know for a fact I want children and I still think a girl would be best.
22. My boyfriend, Cain, and I are so different from one another but thats why I love him. He makes me see things differently. Yeah, this is no longer valid because Cain and I broke up 4 months ago/
23. My back is messed up and hurts just about every day.T
24. I love things that are brightly colored and shiny. If im shopping and I see something that follows those guidlines I stop to look at it. It's a problem.
25. The H&R Block commercial with the people with one huge eye freaks me the hell out. This makes me laugh because I can't remember this commercial. I thought about googling but then I thought, If it freaked me out why would I want to watch it?

This isn't normal

I've been contemplating this post all day.  I share a lot on here but not everything.  It's hard for me to admit some things to myself never mind anyone else but I think I need to do something about this now.  I've suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember so that is nothing new for me but I've been noticing a pattern the past few months and it concerns me a little.  I have tried to avoid it, push it aside because I have a lot of other, worse problems right now but today it's bad.  I have noticed that the days before I get my period and the first day or 2 of my period I have been really depressed.  It's kind of embarrassing for me to admit because I don't want people to think I'm crazy, I don't want to be crazy.  I get upset about the littlest things that trigger me to think about other things that bug me and I dwell on it.  I often feel that my life is pointless, I'm broken.  Emotionally and physically.  I'm a bitch.  I don't mean to be I just am.  I don't trust anyone and I feel like people in my life really don't like me.  I wonder why I'm the way I am and what's the point of it all?  Let me give you an example of my craziness. This is what happened today:
My mother and her boyfriend said they were making a trip into town to go to Wal-Mart to get a boat battery and some stuff for the BBQ tomorrow and they would be back in a few hours. I was fine with that, I wasn't feeling that good--kinda crampy so I was going to hang out in my room. Well, my mom returns a few hours later with the items from Wal-Mart and also two to-go boxes from a restaurant. I instantly was angry.  I didn't yell or anything but I went off on my mom about how she never thinks of me when she goes out with her boyfriend and she knew I wasn't feeling good and there was no food in the house and she didn't think of me. Yada yada yada. And then I continued to get upset about how were having a BBQ tomorrow. It seems like we are constantly having people over lately and so I wasn't happy about that and started to say I was going to stay in my room, I didn't want to see anyone.  My mom said "Don't be like that, just take your medicine.." and I snapped with "It has nothing to do with my medicine I just want to be ALONE.".  My mom knows I'm not feeling well with having Endometriosis so she definitely cuts me a lot of slack.  She told me she hoped I felt better and to go lay down.  It was the most ridiculous situation, I was literally on the verge of tears all because my mom didn't bring me home food. That is just not normal. I felt like such a psycho!  After that I took my meds to relax and ended up taking a nap. When I got up my mom and Carl were headed out in the boat to watch the fireworks on the lake so I decided to take a drive into town and get some french fries,  I was having a craving.  On my ride I started thinking more upsetting thoughts. About how no wonder Cain and I didn't work out, it's all my fault. I'm the one who changed.  Or like, no wonder some of my friends have been avoiding me, I wouldn't want to be my friend either. I have so many issues I can hardly handle them, how can I expect anyone else to? I just don't know whats wrong with me.  I'm so lonely but it's mostly my fault. I have a lot of people I really love in my life but I always just want to be alone.  I just feel like I don't connect with anyone, no one understands me.  I'm not the same person I used to be and so when I get with my old friends it feels weird. I feel so out of place.  I hate feeling like this, I shouldn't feel like this.  So what do I do? Do I go to my regular doctor or my lady doctor? Does anyone else feel depressed before or during their periods, if so how do you cope?  Below I've listed some interesting things I found online about PMS and your emotions.


Emotional Symptoms
·         Depression. Severe depression before menstruation, called premenstrual dysphoric disorder, occurs in about 5% of women with PMS.
·         Anxiety and panic attacks.
·         Insomnia.
·         Change in sexual interest and desire. (Although some women lose interest, others have a heightened drive.)
·         Irritability.
·         Hostility and outbursts of anger. In severe cases, violence toward self and others.
·         Paranoia.
·         Increased appetite often with specific food cravings (especially salt and sugar).
·         Delusions and hallucinations. (These symptoms are very rare and most likely caused by an accompanying psychologic disorder).
Behavioral and Mental Symptoms
·         Mood swings. (Although angry outburst or negative emotions are common, some women experience very positive bursts of creative energy before a period.)
·         dysphoric disorder and women without these syndromes during the premenstrual stage.)
·         Withdrawal from other people.
·         Confusion.
·         Being accident prone.
·         Lethargy and fatigue.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), also called late-luteal dysphoric disorder, is a condition marked by severe depression, irritability, and tension before menstruation. Studies in Europe and the US estimate that PMDD affects between 3% and 8% of women in their reproductive years. PMDD has features of both anxiety and depression disorders, although increasingly experts believe it is a distinct disorder with specific biochemical actions.
Diagnostic Criteria. Symptoms must occur during the last week of the premenstrual (luteal) phase in most menstrual cycles. They should resolve within a few days after the period starts.
Five or more of the following symptoms must be present:
·         Feeling of sadness or hopelessness, possible suicidal thoughts.
·         Feelings of tension or anxiety. (Panic attacks, in fact, may be much more common in patients with PMDD than in the general population.)
·         Mood swings marked by periods of teariness.
·         Persistent irritability or anger that affects other people.
·         Disinterest in daily activities and relationships.
·         Trouble concentrating.
·         Fatigue or low energy.
·         Food cravings or bingeing.
·         Sleep disturbances.
·         Feeling out of control.
Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain.