I've been contemplating this post all day. I share a lot on here but not everything. It's hard for me to admit some things to myself never mind anyone else but I think I need to do something about this now. I've suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember so that is nothing new for me but I've been noticing a pattern the past few months and it concerns me a little. I have tried to avoid it, push it aside because I have a lot of other, worse problems right now but today it's bad. I have noticed that the days before I get my period and the first day or 2 of my period I have been really depressed. It's kind of embarrassing for me to admit because I don't want people to think I'm crazy, I don't want to be crazy. I get upset about the littlest things that trigger me to think about other things that bug me and I dwell on it. I often feel that my life is pointless, I'm broken. Emotionally and physically. I'm a bitch. I don't mean to be I just am. I don't trust anyone and I feel like people in my life really don't like me. I wonder why I'm the way I am and what's the point of it all? Let me give you an example of my craziness. This is what happened today:
My mother and her boyfriend said they were making a trip into town to go to Wal-Mart to get a boat battery and some stuff for the BBQ tomorrow and they would be back in a few hours. I was fine with that, I wasn't feeling that good--kinda crampy so I was going to hang out in my room. Well, my mom returns a few hours later with the items from Wal-Mart and also two to-go boxes from a restaurant. I instantly was angry. I didn't yell or anything but I went off on my mom about how she never thinks of me when she goes out with her boyfriend and she knew I wasn't feeling good and there was no food in the house and she didn't think of me. Yada yada yada. And then I continued to get upset about how were having a BBQ tomorrow. It seems like we are constantly having people over lately and so I wasn't happy about that and started to say I was going to stay in my room, I didn't want to see anyone. My mom said "Don't be like that, just take your medicine.." and I snapped with "It has nothing to do with my medicine I just want to be ALONE.". My mom knows I'm not feeling well with having Endometriosis so she definitely cuts me a lot of slack. She told me she hoped I felt better and to go lay down. It was the most ridiculous situation, I was literally on the verge of tears all because my mom didn't bring me home food. That is just not normal. I felt like such a psycho! After that I took my meds to relax and ended up taking a nap. When I got up my mom and Carl were headed out in the boat to watch the fireworks on the lake so I decided to take a drive into town and get some french fries, I was having a craving. On my ride I started thinking more upsetting thoughts. About how no wonder Cain and I didn't work out, it's all my fault. I'm the one who changed. Or like, no wonder some of my friends have been avoiding me, I wouldn't want to be my friend either. I have so many issues I can hardly handle them, how can I expect anyone else to? I just don't know whats wrong with me. I'm so lonely but it's mostly my fault. I have a lot of people I really love in my life but I always just want to be alone. I just feel like I don't connect with anyone, no one understands me. I'm not the same person I used to be and so when I get with my old friends it feels weird. I feel so out of place. I hate feeling like this, I shouldn't feel like this. So what do I do? Do I go to my regular doctor or my lady doctor? Does anyone else feel depressed before or during their periods, if so how do you cope? Below I've listed some interesting things I found online about PMS and your emotions.
In a new study, 64% of women with major depression said their symptoms get worse five to 10 days before their period. Women whose symptoms worsened had depression for a longer duration of time than women whose
· Depression. Severe depression before menstruation, called premenstrual dysphoric disorder, occurs in about 5% of women with PMS.
· Anxiety and panic attacks.
· Change in sexual interest and desire. (Although some women lose interest, others have a heightened drive.)
· Hostility and outbursts of anger. In severe cases, violence toward self and others.
· Increased appetite often with specific food cravings (especially salt and sugar).
· Delusions and hallucinations. (These symptoms are very rare and most likely caused by an accompanying psychologic disorder).
Behavioral and Mental Symptoms
· Mood swings. (Although angry outburst or negative emotions are common, some women experience very positive bursts of creative energy before a period.)
· dysphoric disorder and women without these syndromes during the premenstrual stage.)
· Withdrawal from other people.
· Being accident prone.
· Lethargy and fatigue.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), also called late-luteal dysphoric disorder, is a condition marked by severe depression, irritability, and tension before menstruation. Studies in Europe and the US estimate that PMDD affects between 3% and 8% of women in their reproductive years. PMDD has features of both anxiety and depression disorders, although increasingly experts believe it is a distinct disorder with specific biochemical actions.
Diagnostic Criteria. Symptoms must occur during the last week of the premenstrual (luteal) phase in most menstrual cycles. They should resolve within a few days after the period starts.
Five or more of the following symptoms must be present:
· Feeling of sadness or hopelessness, possible suicidal thoughts.
· Feelings of tension or anxiety. (Panic attacks, in fact, may be much more common in patients with PMDD than in the general population.)
· Mood swings marked by periods of teariness.
· Persistent irritability or anger that affects other people.
· Disinterest in daily activities and relationships.
· Trouble concentrating.
· Fatigue or low energy.
· Food cravings or bingeing.
· Sleep disturbances.
· Feeling out of control.
Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain.