April 15, 2011

Today is a bad day. Yesterday was worse.

"Some days are for living. Others are for getting through."-Malcolm S. Forbes

 Honestly, these last 2 days have sucked ass. Yesterday started off okay. I felt a little blah but thats pretty normal for me. I actually thought I had been feeling better since I had my surgery last Wednesday. I wasn't feeling as nauseous and bloated as I usually do when I would first wake up in the morning and I thought to myself, "YAY. Surgery did help somewhat!". Well, I don't know why I am so "lucky" but I seem to have minimal Endo with severe symptoms, especially gastrointestinal ones. I usually have two really bad episodes a month, once around ovulation and once right before/or on the start of my period. Now, I don't want to get into too much detail because for one, its embarrassing, and two, its not pleasant. Anyway, I have severe episodes that cause me to throw up, and go to the bathroom, and I get the sweats, chills, nausea, intense stomach pain, blurred vision, pass out, hyperventilate...yeah. In recent months, in has been getting so bad that I can not control how much I throw up and eventually I get dehydrated. I have been to the ER 3 times in 5 months.
Yesterday I was at work, everything seemed normal, I felt okay and then all of a sudden I had to run to the bathroom. I was in so much pain I couldn't see straight. Luckily for me my best friend, Corinne, is also my co-worker and she took me over to the ER. Thank god I work 3 minutes from the hospital, I literally felt like I was going to die. I was shaking so hard I was practically convulsing, so much pain I couldn't even think straight. Once they finally got me in they hooked me up with some medicine to stop me from throwing up and gave me some morphine for the pain. It worked for a while and they took me to do some tests, an Xray and CAT scan. Not long after returning to my room I started to feel pain again. Seriously, dude?! I was given morphine. Most of the time that kicks people on their ass but nope, not me! Go friggin figure. I have such a high drug tolerance but 2 beers and Im hammered, so dumb! Anyway, the pain was so bad I hyperventilated to a point of where all of my muscles tensed and my hands were stuck in certain positions, my legs were all cramped, even the muscles in my face were so tensed I couldn't talk right. It was pretty scary. The nurses came back and doctor (all males, random, lol) and gave me Oxygen, more morphine and Ativan to make me stop hyperventilating. After all of that, and my tests, they had no answers for me. My xray was great, CAT scan great, blood and urine all fine. AWESOME. Yet again I have no f-ing idea how to help myself. I'm pretty used to hearing that answer by now but it doesn't make me any less stressed out. I'm on the verge of asking the hospital if I can move in, LOL.
I went home around 7 and not long after I got there I threw up 2 more times,ugh. It stresses me out! I don't know to fix me! I ended up coming home early from work today because I was still feeling like crap and now I'm starting to have severe cramps but my period isn't even due for 7 more days...joy! I'm prepared though!
I've got my heating pad, meds, and Season 5 of Supernatural on DVD to keep me going.

Until next time,

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