September 20, 2011

Summer lovin'

I would say the biggest thing that has happened to me in the 2 months I have been MIA is meeting Lucas.  Who is Lucas? Well, Lucas is the first guy I have dated since Cain and I broke up back in March. As many of you remember, I was with Cain for 6 years and things were hard when we broke up. I thought I was never going to find someone to be with, I was scared, but oh so wrong.  Before Lucas I actually had a date with a guy named Travis. He is the nicest guy, not usually the type I go for but I thought “why not give it a chance?”. Unfortunately I just wasn’t ready at the time to even attempt dating him.. things were very weird and hard for me. Not long after though I stumbled upon Lucas. It felt different, I was ready to try with him.
I live on a dirt road off of a lake in Maine and apparently, Lucas’ family has a camp right on the water-- literally 2 minutes from my house.  My best friend from high school, Stacy, actually introduced us.  Over the past 6 years or so Stacy and I have slightly lost touch. We talked occasionally but so much had changed and we were just not friends anymore. We wanted to start getting back into our friendship and she had started dating a guy who happened to live down the road from me (Lucas’ brother). One thing led to another and I met Lucas! From the minute we met I definitely felt something. We aren’t officially together as of now, just “hanging out” but I think its because its so complicated. Now, I know a lot of people probably are going to judge me when they read this next part but this is what I have to say to judgments—FUCK YOU. J Anyway… Lucas is 6 years younger than I am. Normally, I never in a million years would have gone for a younger guy but Lucas is so different. He’s so mature and ambitious for his age, it makes me want to be better.  He is 3 hours away at college as we speak.   While that makes me incredibly sad to know he’s so far (and for a few more years) but at the same time, I’m happy for him. He is going to go so far in life, he is so smart and wants to do so much. Not only that, he has a great heart. I have been “hanging out” with him for almost 2 months, most of which has been on weekends because of our schedules, but still. I feel like I can really trust him and I feel like he’s a genuine person. Meeting him has made me realize that even though I loved Cain so much, it really was for the best that we broke up. We are so different and want different things and its nice not to be so hurt about that anymore.
In the words of Adele “Sometimes in lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”
I don’t know where this new “relationship” is going but for now, I'm happy. It’s nice to be carefree and happy again.

Until next time,

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