A must read!

If you love the paranormal then "Switched" by Amanda Hocking is a must read for you!
I, for one, love anything and everything supernatural! Most of what I read is about the paranormal so when I saw this book on the shelf at Wal-Mart, I couldn't help myself. I was skeptical at first when I saw the world "Trylle" on the cover but I decided to give it a whirl!
 The story is about a girl named Wendy who discovers she is a Changeling and by discovering this, a whole new world she never knew existed opens up to her. It has romance, drama, and lots of unexpected surprises. I definitely suggest reading it if you are a big fan of the paranormal world.

Hello 2012!

Hello Friends,
I'm back! I've decided it's time to get back into the swing of things and starting my blog again is a top priority for me.  These past few months have been hectic and a blur and I really want to take the time to focus on the things that are important to me again.  I had just started feeling better a few months ago. My Endometriosis seemed to be under control and I was able to eat and drink and have fun like the good old days! So, I took full advantage of it..probably too much. I have spent a lot of these past few months out partying with friends and having a good time. It seems it may have caught up to me though. This past month has been particularly hard, my Endo seems to be flaring up again and I guess I shouldn't be surprised; I wasn't taking very good care of myself.  It's hard to be 26 and not be able to go out and get crazy like I used to, when all my friends can still do it. This past week I got very ill again and made my first ER visit in quite some time. I realized I can't do this to myself, I really need to take better care of myself. I had to miss 3 days of work and have been home bound for 5 days now and needless to say, it sucks! I am making changes though, I have to! I have already changed my diet and have signed up for a gym membership to keep myself healthy. Now, these may all seem like simple steps BUT, if you know me, you know these are very big changes for me. My anxiety used to be so bad I couldn't even step into a gym by myself, let alone get a membership; And diet, HA, that was a foreign word to me. I can't live like this any longer though, I have to change. So, anyway, expect to be seeing more of me! I am going to trade in nights of going out for blogging and crafts and anything else I enjoy. Not to say I wont go out at all anymore but, just not as often.  In closing, let me share some of my fun pics from these past few months!

See you in 2012

I haven't posted nearly enough in the past few months. I'm still a mess. I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life. I'm hurting. I feel empty, alone. I feel like I have no purpose. I'm sick of feeling this way. I'm sick of being sad. I have decided that 2012 is going to be a good year. It has to be. I am a mess emotionally right now and with the holiday's around the corner it doesn't help. I won't be posting again until sometime in January.  I need to get my shit together. I need to be happy with me.
I plan to be healthier mentally and physically. Eating better, exercise, taking care of me. I want to feel good about myself and not have it be because of a guy. I want a real relationship, someone I can love, build a life with, but I can't do that if I am relying on someone else to make me happy. I'm never going to get rid of this empty feeling if I don't make some changes in my life.

I'll keep you all posted.

See you next year :)
-Melissa

Depression; a daily struggle

Depression is a lifelong battle and if you don’t have it, you really don’t understand it.  For as long as I can remember I’ve been ‘depressed’.   I am hard on myself, pessimistic, and just generally sad. I know my life could be so much worse but I still can’t shake the feeling of being unhappy.  Of course I WANT to be happy, that’s why I am on antidepressants, but for some reason people think I enjoy being miserable. Really? Oh why yes, I love crying on a daily basis. I love feeling like I have nothing to live for and that my life is meaningless.  STFU. I am sick of people telling me to “be happy, it could be worse”. NO SHIT. I know this, but I can’t help it.  I am not to the point where I am going to commit suicide, I am too scared and would feel too guilty to do something like that however; I do feel like there is no point in me being here sometimes. I just don’t understand what my purpose is in life or how to find it.  All I want is to feel fulfilled in life, love, and work. I want to be happy with the way my life is going and I want to be happy with myself. I want to like myself.  How do I make it happen? I tried talking to my mother but she told me to do what most Women do as a solution to a major problem, fake it. Fake being happy.  I'm sorry but how does that help? It's just not possible for me to be that fake, I don't want to be. I work in customer service so I have to be fake and nice for 40 hours a week to complete D-bags, I really don't want to have to pretend all the time. If that was the case I would have pursued acting. Anyway, I feel like I’ve been struggling with this for so long and nothing has worked I just don’t know where to go from here.  

If you suffer from depression what do you do to cope? What has or has not worked for you?

If you think you may suffer from depression but haven’t seen a doctor yet, check out these symptoms and if you are experiencing any of them contact your PCP, A.S.AP!

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of depression may include the following:

·         difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

·         fatigue and decreased energy

·         feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness

·         feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism

·         insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping

·         irritability, restlessness

·         loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex

·         overeating or appetite loss

·         persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment

·         persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings

·         thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

For more info on depression visit http://www.webmd.com/depression/default.htm

Until next time,

Melissa